A Soldier and a Sailor

A Soldier and a Sailor,
A Tinker and a Tailor,
Had once a doubtful Strife, Sir,
To make a Maid a Wife, Sir,
Whose Name was Buxom Joan,
Whose Name was Buxom Joan.
For now the Time is ended
When she no more intended
To lick her Chops at Men, Sir,
And gnaw the Sheets in vain, Sir.
And lie o’ Nights alone,
And lie o’ Nights alone.

The soldier swore like Thunder,
He lov’d her more than Plunder,
And show’d her many a Scar, Sir,
That he had brought from far, Sir,
With fighting for her sake.
The Tailor thought to please her
With offering her his Measure.
The Tinker, too, with Mettle
Said he wou’d mend her Kettle
And stop up ev’ry Leak.

But while these three were prating,
The Sailor slyly waiting,
Thought if it came about, Sir,
That they shou’d all fall out, Sir,
He then might play his Part.
And just e’en as he meant, Sir,
To Loggerheads they went, Sir,
And then he let fly at her
A shot twixt Wind and Water,
That won this fair Maid’s Heart.

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